Recalculating

I've been doing some recalculating, looking at where I was, where I am right now, and where I went wrong.

While sitting in a restaurant last night, my wife and I started talking about the supernatural, those things we deem not normal, or natural, and she said to me, that it is not right, that it borders on what is bad.

I started to explain to her about the people of the bible and how they had supernatural natural life's.

ADAM had a face to face encounter with God on a daily basis, Abraham had a supernatural natural life, he was called the friend of God, he had more than one encounter with angels, so did Enoch, Moses had face to face meetings with God, he did many signs and wonders, how about Joshua, Daniel, Ezekiel, Joel, the apostles, all of them had a supernatural natural life.

My wife then replied, yes but what about today? As she said that, I was reminded by the Holy Spirit, of the numerous supernatural events that happened in my own life, and for the most part of 7 years, the supernatural was natural to me, (but of such things I do not wish to write about myself)

When we got home, I realized what it was that I was missing, I am missing that supernatural natural life, all those events I was earlier reminded of, the visits to paradise, the physical walls of protection, the spectacular hosts of heaven, the encounters with the Almighty.

Then I realized that I had become so involved with trying to figure out the truth, and gaining knowledge, that I allowed myself to slip out of the supernatural natural, to a mere natural, thirst for knowledge, I had lost my hunger and thirst for the supernatural natural way of living. for ten years my only thirst was for knowledge and recognition, before I went to the mission field, my life was supernatural natural, now it is just plain natural.

This morning I am sitting in my office remembering the height from which I had fallen, I am standing humble before an Almighty God, acknowledging that I have fallen from that place I once had. I had traded that which was awesome and spectacular for religion, for doctrine, and knowledge, I was stupid, thinking that if I had all the answers I would be better of, I fell for the same lie that Eve had fallen for, I fell for knowledge, I traded the supernatural for knowledge.

My prayer today is that God will have mercy on me, and forgive me, that He will help me, to find my way back to Him, back to the supernatural natural. I long for that place once again